Today's post in the Blogging challenge asks where I see myself at the end of this year.
Before I say that, I should probably share my New Year's Resolution, which, in all honesty, I haven't been doing a great job at really. If you read this post, yesterday, you read about a few of my insecurities among other things.
My resolution this year, was to do things to like myself more. That consisted of a lot of things that I wanted to change about myself.
I want to quit smoking (I have decided to go the cutting down gradually route on that by the way, but I am doing alright, I'm doing it less and less, I will be quit by the end of the year definitely.).
I have a lot of weight that I want to lose (this is a battle that I'm doing good and bad at.. it depends on my day, it's bad..).
I want to spend time reading my bible each day (I may not do it every day, but I am reading it a LOT more frequently than I was, and my goal is that by the end of the day, I will be spending some time with it every day. God most definitely deserves to come first, and I need to be better about making sure that happens).
I wanted to get involved in my community, and start doing good things to help others. I am trying to find the perfect opportunity in which to do this, that works around my family and their schedule.
I started out this year determined to take more time and do more things just for me. This is something that I certainly haven't done a good job with. It truly is something that I need to work on. I need to find things that I want to do, and need to do, that April (not wife, not mom, but April) wants and enjoys. But at the end of the day, wife and mom always take over, and April is frequently pushed into a corner somewhere (I am sure a lot of you can relate to this at least a little), and that's what I have really wanted to change.
Now, the question wasn't how was I hoping to be able to see myself at the end of the year, it was how DO I see myself at the end of the year. Unfortunately, for me, these are really two different things.
I see myself not smoking anymore. This just HAS to be a reality for me. I told myself from the beginning of the year, that by the end, I would be a non smoker, so this is still not a failure and even if I am fully quit at the end of December, I will be quit. No ifs, ands or buts for me on this one. It really has to be done.
I can see myself having lost some weight (I have already lost a little, but not much, and I have a terrible yo-yo effect going on), but not nearly as much as I would have liked to. It's too late for me to reach the goal that I set for myself in a healthy way, but the sooner I start really working well on it the closer I will get to my goal, and, well, that's going to have to be ok.
I see myself gaining a lot out of the reading in my Bible. I also see myself continuing to grow in my faith.
I am hoping to have worked in some sort of charitable environment once I find one. My goal is to take one day off a month at the very least at a food bank, shelter, or maybe even a nursing home. Something that I could bring my daughter with me to would be even better. Please feel free to suggest something in the comments!
There's a big part of me that tells me there are certain things about myself that I may never change, and part of the point of my resolutions at the beginning of the year, was to try and prove myself wrong.
I, however, am unable to see the future, so I can't tell you for sure how, who, what or where I will be at the end of the year, but all I can do is hope and try to make some of my goals above a reality.
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