As you all know, I have restarted my work on losing weight. I WAS doing an excellent job. In the month of January, I lost 11 pounds, and while I know, I am not close to competing on the Biggest Loser yet, I am still proud of that success that I had.
So far, in February, I have gone through the same thing that I go through every time I do this. I get stuck at a particular weight, and no matter what I do, it doesn't go below there (and stay for any length of time.). I have been using the number on the scale, as a motivator for me, and when that doesn't give me the "progress report" that I'm hoping for, I literally just give up and throw in the towel. That has been an issue for me this month. After trying for weeks with no result, I just gave up. The other day, I ate an entire box of macaroni and cheese and didn't think anything of it (goodness, doing it was bad enough, but typing that just now has mortified me.)
This morning, I kind of had the revelation that the scale may have actually created a bit of a mental block for me. Even when I had good weeks, and lost a great amount of weight, I still wasn't thrilled with my progress. I am going to restart my weight loss journey, only, I'm going to ignore the actual weight. I am not going to weigh myself, and instead, I am going to focus on exercise, I am going to focus on eating less, and the right foods. I am going on strike, however, from the scale. I am not going to weigh myself again for a month. (I haven't weighed myself in over a week, but right now, I really don't think I even want to know what the scale says.) That number is just that, a number, and that going down isn't going to make me feel better about myself. That's not what is going to make me healthier, or a better example for my daughter (with the frequency that I was weighing myself, I actually believe that it will do the exact opposite.). Not only that, but a decreasing number on that machine of sadness isn't going to make me look any better either.
So, it's not going to make me look better, it won't make me feel better, and depending on what it says, it isn't going to make me feel any better about myself.. So why am I so concerned with it? Why do I stare so intently at that digital number like it's going to either fix my problems or make them worse? That number means NOTHING. My real concerns should be how I feel when I look in the mirror (notice, though, that I said how I feel, and not what others think of me. I'm going to try really hard to try to forget that too), it's not going to give me more energy, or make me feel better physically. It's not going to teach my daughter that her mom wants to live a healthier lifestyle. None of those things will ever be accomplished by focusing on a number on a scale, and that is why, for at least a month, I am not going to focus on it.