I wanted to take the time to send kind of a personal message to all of you, from me. As moms, as women, as people, sometimes it's so easy to get so wrapped up in taking care of and loving everyone else, making sure all of their needs are met, and making them feel loved that we neglect someone very important, and that's ourselves. I am SO guilty of this.
These past couple of days, I have come to the realization in my own life, that my low self-esteem is my biggest problem. It is far worse than any of the things causing it, to the point of getting myself into trouble sometimes. My husband tells me all the time how beautiful he thinks I am, and yet, when I'm looking in the mirror, stepping on the scale, or just having a bad day, that is not what I'm telling myself. Are you guilty of this?
When my daughter gets into trouble, I am always using phrases like "you're so smart, that's how I know that you know better than this (I say this when I know that she really does know better), or "you're such a sweet girl, I know it and I see it, now why don't you share your toys so that others can see how nice you are like I do".. I want to make sure that even when my daughter isn't behaving the way she should, that she still knows that she is a wonderful girl. She still feels good about herself. When she's over tired, or grouchy, I tell her "you're really pretty even when you're sad, but when you're smiling you're beautiful."
I always make sure to show and tell my husband that I love him, that he's handsome and sexy to me, and that I appreciate how he goes to work every day to earn a living for us, when he does yard work and makes it beautiful outside, when he makes me feel loved, when he's being a great dad, everything.
When it comes to me, I'm noticing my flaws, and the things that I haven't accomplished yet that day that I need to, and the things I should have said that I didn't.
You all probably do a lot of the same things, build up your children and spouse/significant others, get everything done, and make sure everyone is happy. But my question for you, is what are you doing for yourselves? What are you doing to make sure that you're happy and taken care of? Are you reminding yourselves of the people that love and care about you, and how important everything you're doing is? When you do your hair and make up, are you doing it for everyone else? Or are you doing it for you? These are all questions that I have asked myself over these past couple of days, and I'm guilty of having the wrong answer to every one of them. When I look in the mirror, I see fat that shouldn't be there, blemishes on my face, and then my eyes always go to the one patch of hair where there are more grays than I would prefer (if I can see it, but if not, I'm noticing my frumpy bun that covers it up back there).
My challenge to you, is to look at how you feel about yourself, and do whatever you can to make sure that you're seeing in you, what everyone who loves you sees. (And once you truly figure out how to see all of the wonderful things about you, come back here and let me know how you did it! Because this is a challenge I have been facing for just about always.)
Final thought: This blog is something that I've really started tackling head on, in part because it is something that I wanted to do for myself. This, in a way, is a small bit of "me time" that I am spending with you all every day. I appreciate all of you for reading, and I genuinely hope that you all love yourselves. This post was in part inspired by one of the facebook comments that I received on my page about how moms really need other adults to talk to. She was so right, we all need people to talk to and relate to. That's part of the reason that, in between giveaways, and links, I will "talk" to all of you. Because this is especially true for those of us who stay at home with our children all day. And if you are one of those moms who really needs more adults to talk to, I would LOVE to see more interaction over on facebook, (www.facebook.com/themomshow) I will do my best to personally answer comments and posts there when I can. I hope you all have a wonderful night!
Before I go, I just want to remind you all of my appreciation giveaway! http://themomshow.blogspot.com/2012/03/we-hit-300-likes-giveaway-time.html
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